I am weak.
I am lonely.
I am a slut.
I am strong.
I am Dominant.
I am independent.
I am Seven James.
My entire life, no one has wanted me, and that was fine, because I sure as shit didn’t need anyone else. Blah, Blah Blah, insert sad story here about negligent parents, and shitty siblings, and you have my life story in a nut shell. When my college boyfriend dumped me, it was just icing on the cake. Five years, and a booming career later I am here to collect my revenge.
That was until a delicious plaything walked into the kink club I frequent, and rocked my typically un-rockable world. Causing me to break the one rule I have lived by since Daniel Alexander walked out of my life, never have sex with the same person twice. Ever.
Warning!!!! Hers contains sexually explicit situations that may be uncomfortable for some. These include FF, FMF, and MFM interactions.
Way too much, Levi.” I let out a deep breath, and push the plate away from me. My appetite is gone now. “I can’t do this. I need a break.” I stand from my chair and start to back away from him. I need to put as much room between us as I can. If he touches me, I’ll change my mind. “This is all too much, too fast. I need a break. Please, Levi. I hate to ask this of you, but can you go?” I can feel the panic attack brewing and I don’t want him to witness the nastiness that is my manic behavior.
“Seven, can we please talk about this?” His tone is pleading, and I can’t reply. I stand still, arms wrapped around my body, praying he’ll walk out of my life as fast as he possibly can.
“Please. Go.” My breathing becomes faster, and my hands shake as they harshly grip my own arms.
He turns without a word and makes his way to the elevator. Only a minute more and I can crack. Shatter. Retreat back into my fucked up head. Back to my fucked up life where I am worthless and where no one wants me. There, I am safe. The only person I am safe with is myself. It will always be like this.
I hear the slam of the elevator door and my entire body slips down the wall, sagging onto the kitchen floor as the hysterics pour out of me. First, it starts ever so slowly with tears. Followed by a meek cry. My breathing becomes more rapid with each memory that flashes through my overactive brain.
“You are destined to be alone, forever, Seven. You are just too fucked up.” Blue’s words echo through my ears.
“You’ll never get your shit together long enough to love anyone but yourself,” my father adds. Way to add insult to injury.
Without missing a beat, Daniel’s voice slams through my ears.
“You are nothing more than a good fuck, and a warm body.” He should have just carved my heart right out of my chest at that moment. “Seven, you aren’t a forever kind of girl.”
No, I am not built for forever. I am not the kind of girl you bring home to your parents. That had been drilled into my head repeatedly over the years. A good fuck, a warm body. But never a forever. My labored breaths turn into gasps for air, my shaking out of control as I sob uncontrollably on my kitchen floor. I am destined to be alone. Forever. That is the only forever I will get.
When I started this book my thoughts were, this is going to be another book of sex with no plot. Man was I wrong. Under all of the defenses Seven has in her story, there is a very important story being told. I was amazed and so overwhelmed when her truth came out in the end. This book, while it starts with meaningless sex, ends with the journey of Seven, finding her heart and passion and realizing the lies she was told as a child.
Seven refused to allow anyone in her walls, she had spent a life time protecting herself from the hurt and pain others inflict. She developed a need to control everyone, from the board room to the bed room, there was never a question of her power. That is until Levi came into her life. Seven was on a mission to take down her ex boyfriend Daniel who left her for a more suitable woman to marry. He wanted his daddy’s company, but little did he know in a few years his new boss would be the one woman who wasn’t good enough to marry.
Levi, coming off a divorce, found something in Seven that he couldn’t live without. He knew there was something, just one thing she needed in her world, but he wasn’t sure what it was. He decided he would give her what he had, his loyalty and love and pray she would one day accept it. He was also on the board of the company she just took over, so he was more than willing to go on business trips with her. This was just the open door he needed. One night in London she broke down and confessed her secrets, her fears and as she prepared for him to run through the door that she had open, he instead wrapped his arms around her and confessed his love.
As the story goes on, the meaningless sex stops and Seven realizes that all she ever feared to dream about was right there in front of her. She had to decide if Levi was worth the risk of letting him in her walls and near her heart. Pain such as Seven’s wasn’t easily forgotten. This was a story of raw emotions, human behavior that can deeply scar others and the power to over come such horrific childhood memories and allow another person the chance to love you. Seven showed us the internal struggle for someone who has been told all of her life she wasn’t wanted, she was useless, she was no good. She believed those lies for so long, she structured her life to prove them right, now she has to decide if Levi’s love is worth creating a world that would prove her family wrong. Does she have what it takes to allow others to love her?
I loved this book, as I said, the farther into it I got, the more meaningful it became. The story was lost in the first half, but we needed to see that Seven so we could truly appreciate the Seven at the end of the book. Star her best friend has a story of her own which will be coming out soon. We get a glimpse of it in Her, but I can hardly wait to read her full story and to catch up with Seven and Levi and see what in the world they are doing now. Levi deserves a medal for his patience with Seven, if ever there was an example of true love, he displayed it in this book. Make sure you get your copy and be ready for Star’s story soon.
About the Author:
Dawn is a woman of many colors. Born and raised in the North-East, the youngest child of three, to two hard working, and extremely dedicated parents, she thrived on her love for creative writing. Her commitment to hard work lead her down a number of career paths over the years, stopping with her love for fiction.
In a bold, and unexpected move, she quit her full-time nine to five gig to thrust herself into her debut erotic novel, Hers.
Dawn is a mother, entrepreneur, and self proclaimed book whore.
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